‘Things got personal and intense’: Employee informs boss they're seeking other career opportunities, boss retaliates by stripping them of their responsibilities

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 6, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

If there's one thing you've learned from this website, it's that you should never, and I mean never, completely trust your company. This is true especially when you're thinking of sharing sensitive information they might use as ammo to get you out of there quicker than you can say, "I quit". Even if you plan on quitting, you'd probably want to do so on your own terms.

In a perfect world, our HR directors care about our well-being and what we need to do to make money to survive in this unfair world. It would be a pure utopia if our bosses can understand that our careers are bigger than the company we're currently working at, and looking for other opportunities is crucial in keeping your life fresh and fulfilled. This is not a perfect world, and we are not living in a utopia.

This next story is about an employee who mistakingly tells their boss that they're looking for other opportunities. They did so because they were afraid their prospective employer would reach out to their boss. They blew their cover before someone else could, which is brave but a bit naïve. They should never trust a higher-up with this information, ever—and they learned that the hard way through workplace retaliation. Scroll to read.

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  • There was no HR department in this employee's company. So, they weren't able to keep things under wraps from their boss while still maintaining a level of professionalism. If their boss doesn't maintain this, though, why should the employee? If the employee is seeking other jobs, they should reflect on their managing style rather than berate the employee into quitting…

  • "I packed up and left.” 800
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "My boss retaliated after finding out I applied elsewhere."

    I work(ed) at a small company with no HR department. I've been underpaid for a while, so I applied for a job elsewhere. When the potential employer started doing
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  • employment verifications, I gave my boss a heads-up-not because I was leaving, but because I didn't want it to catch him off guard.
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  • After that, everything changed. I was pulled from projects and excluded from communication. Then I was called into a meeting where things got personal and intense. I was told I couldn't be
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  • trusted, my responsibilities were taken away, and I was told I could be paid "as much or as little" as the company decided. When I got emotional, I was told I was "unprofessional for crying." At no point had I said I was quitting.
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  • After that conversation, I packed up and left. I sent a formal resignation email later that day to document what happened. He replied as if it was a normal, mutual decision-even though it absolutely wasn't.
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  • Edit / Update: Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to respond. This was a painful experience, and reading your feedback-blunt or
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  • kind-has really helped me process it. I can see that a lot of people have been through something similar, and that means more than I can say.
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  • Here's what I've taken away: Moving forward, I won't give a heads-up or allow employment verification until I have a written offer. • If a future employer
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  • insists on contacting my current workplace, I'll be much clearer about the risks-and set firmer boundaries. I've learned that transparency isn't always
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  • rewarded. That doesn't mean I was wrong to be honest, but it does mean I'll be more protective of myself next time.
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  • This was hard, but I still believe I made the right call walking away. I didn't leave perfectly, but I left with my integrity. And I'm proud of that.
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  • If you're reading this and in a similar position-be kind, but also be cautious. Your peace is worth protecting.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10489273344
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Ok_Tumbleweed5642 Never give an employer a heads up on your plans. They most certainly would never do that for you.
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  • Spirited_State2867 Why did you give him a heads up? You didn't owe him that. Lesson learned. Good luck finding a new job!
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  • newtotech369 I'm sorry he acted so childishly. However, this is an important lesson: never tell your employer about leaving until you have a job secured.
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  • badwords If you're leaving a place because they already aren't working with you there's no reason to work with them.
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  • Known_Witness3268 Your new company should have asked if they could contact your present employer. Weird that they didn't!
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  • gpbakken I smell lawsuit potential....
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  • couchboyunlimited Bosses who do sh like that are losers. I've been a manager for years. You should help people do what they want to do, not try and punish them for daring to make their situation better. Either fight for them to want to stay, or help them leave to go somewhere else
    via couchboyunlimited

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boss antiwork workplace-stories work stories toxic-workplace terrible-bosses bosses work toxic-boss workplace Horrible Bosses bad bosses Reddit toxic-work-environment
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